As I was walking back home, this gentleman came out of his car and looked at me crossways. He then went on to make a huge show of locking up his car, testing nearly all openings and slamming them shut all the while activating his alarm so repetitively that I found myself trying to identify the tune he was aiming for?
Now, now, sir, you do not yet possess telepathy for sure! I was walking yes but most of the time I ride a bike? And not only is my dislike of motor vehicles pronounced enough that I would not steal yours and be stuck owning it for the life of me but it goes to the point of not even contemplating its theft for the purpose of monetary gain through resale as I would be more morally against participating in the dissemination of such contraptions as are motor vehicles than the act of larceny itself?
What? That sounds improbable? Fine, here comes another example then! A friend relayed this incredible scene to me :
as he was walking down the boulevard in his mid-size town, a series of police choppers rotated along the sidewalk to establish a perimeter for an upcoming demonstration. Intrigued as any passerby would be, my friend slowed to a crawl in order to witness the event. What came up was a small group of cyclists chanting the slogan The Arctic belongs to Polar bears?
I, of course, inquired to my friend how small a group and he guessed around fifty, no more than 60 for certain? Sensing my disbelief, he added that all were young and a tad on the hippy side.
Two things came to mind. First, the problem might have been that of categories? I mean, if you call for an ecological protest against the misuse of the Polar circle, you should expect more than 50 folks, right? But if you couple it with being less than thirty years old and riding a bicycle and being anti-capitalist and being pro free love/sex and wearing only non-synthetic clothes and being a student of the local community college and … etc, that’s what you get! Barely two scores of activists?
I think it was Sammy Davis Junior way back in the days who kidded about categories that he was all in favor of them for if they ever came up with one for one-eyed Negro Jews actors/singers, he’d win every year? He was right; the French coined the term communitarianism to describe folks that make up their own ghettos by wanting to be strict about as many things as possible!
The second thing though is related to bikes! That nice town really called a police escort for those kids? Well, that opens up possibilities. May I suggest to my bike commuting readers that feel as I do that motorists are way too aggressive and endanger their lives that : If they get a cause a day over the year and register along with their local authorities ( hoping them to be as ridiculously generous as those of the place where my buddy resides, of course ) and set up a route to pick up their co-workers or nearby ones along the way, for the low price of chanting Death to Chemtrails Loving Vegans or some such, they’ll get the privilege and maximal safety of a motorcade of law enforcement officers every day?
A racoon scampers by.
The problem with Porn.
Is it just me or is heterosexual porn turning increasingly homosexual these days? No, seriously?
Let see it this way, contrarily to eroticism, pornography attempts to depict intercourse, right? Which of course is a simple matter in and of itself. In regular occurrences, it involves two consenting adults of
( in our heterosexual context ) opposing sexes? That means one to three input devices and up to two orifices to one to two input devices and up to three orifices? Anything beyond that falls into the intensely perverted, right? Fine!
Except that in modern pornography, it seems that the main concern is to cram as many main male members as possible into one ( sometimes two ) female(s)? The problem with that being that no matter how talented and creative the cinematographer may be, these too numerous guys end up blocking the view of the poor object of *cough, cough* desire?
That’s my whole point here : that checking a cornucopia of male genitalia with barely a few dozens of pixels of lady parts visible on screen is not that heterosexual for red-blooded males?
OK! That may have seemed as coming out of the blue but I needed it to link to my next bug.
There was a Miss America contest recently on TV.
And the winner was not American enough to the taste of some?
So not white enough, the poor girl is? as commented green-hued Yoda!
Dear racists, while I personally do not follow the Miss contests anymore than the porn ones for the very same anti-sexist reasons, I hear you! I understand your plight and anger. You loathe the idea of a multiracial, plural and diverse America, right? After all, after all the efforts made over the last 2 centuries to get rid of Indians, that one would be crowned Miss America is an outrage, right? And even the fact that the poor Nina Davuluri is the other sort of Indian, the one from abroad, certainly does not solve anything as I understand, durn for’gners and all that? Sadly, with all ‘em blacks, chicanos and Canadians roaming loose, the prospect of coming back to a racially pure America ( which it never was anyhow ) is quite slim!
There is a solution though! Please refer to my categories sub-subject up there ( but not the porn one as that field is also becoming grossly interracial which you may not appreciate ). Why not go back to the roots ( no capital R, the idea of origins, not the ( for you ) disgusting TV series )?
Let’s have a specific contest for real American Misses ( pun intended )! Pure inbred gals, no inferior ersatz? It could be called Miss UKSKAK*? No risks of a brownish gal winning that one?
Or Miss Tea Party, no intelligent answer to the judges questions allowed and so on? Not barely Miss Caucasian either, let’s be serious! I mean, that Fifty shades of White** crap is for liberals, right?
Ah, the sight of paste jewelry and baubles bedecking a buck-toothed cousin?
Nary a terrorist in sight less you count relatives of Timothy McVeigh?
Go for it, good people, ain’t nothing a bit of tight categorization cannot solve, right?
What? What? What do you mean sarcasm? Me? … OH! Shocking! How dare you?
* Or maybe Miss KUKSKA, you decide; I’m not really gifted for acronyms!
** The original being eroticism and not pornography; see, told ya I’d justify it?